Raaen

grogusdads:

this tik tok has me in fucking tears

(via nostrem)

nostrem:

im absolutely obsessed with this poster of kamen rider kiva. sorry i cant be him

probablybadrpgideas:

Instead of “good” vs “evil”, it’s “good” vs “naughty little boys”

anais-ninja-bitch:

batmatt0072-deactivated20220222:

omfg

(via weary-bones)

Richard walked cautiously toward the door of his captains quarters and upon arriving at his destination he took a deep breath and then hesitantly raised his right hand closed it into a fist, he rapped his knuckles softly against it half hoping that Captain Teach didn’t hear but after a few seconds he heard the angry yelling of his frightful captain, “Who be disturbing me during my resting hour!” the anger in his voice clear as the skies even through the thick hard wood door.
“sorry sir it’s Richard I was just wondering if I could talk to you for a second,” Richard replied, his voice shaking from the adrenaline coursing through his veins
“Come in lad i can hardly hear ye out there!” Richard reached toward the door handles and realised upon touching them that the palms of his hands were sweating profusely, he wiped them on his cloth pants and used his shirt to wipe the excess sweat from the door handles and then tried again. He pulled with all his strength and the heavy doors slowly creeped open with a loud creak. “I should probably put some lubricant on those hinges,” he contemplated. The room was almost pitch black but that was mostly due to his eyes not being adjusted from the sudden change in lighting,
“what is it boy? Cant ye see im busy?” he was laying down on his bed

“sorry sir,”
“Captain!” he interjected
“Oh, sorry sir.” Teach quirked an eye brow, “I mean captain!”
“what is it, hurry I’ve things to do boy,”
“well like, I’m just not sure if you’re aware but there’s a few things that I just find to be a bit unsafe on your ship,” Teach looked on inquisitively
“go on”
“oh okay well I’ve actually just written a list,”
“can’t read boy, out with it,” he Teach demanded
“oh sorry sir. Captain!” Richard corrected himself, “like okay, when I was, swabbing the deck the other day I noticed that to mop would get snagged quite often on some loose boards and I’m just waiting for one of the guys to get a splinter,” Richard chuckled, Teach did not. He merely leaned forward from his chair and steepled his fingers,
“okay tough crowd,” Richard mumbled to himself. Teach did not move an inch and Richard took that as a queue that he was waiting for more, “ well also I’m not really a smoker and I’ve noticed that most of the fellas are but If its not to much to ask could we have a like, designated smoking area? I just get lightheaded when people smoke around me, its my asthma,” Richard chuckled again, Teach was now resting his thick black beard on top of his steepled fingers.
“oh and also it’s actually really hot out there with the sun and everything, and I seem to have misplaced my hat and I was wondering because you seem to spend a majority of your time in here anyway, would it be alright if I borrowed your hat?” a moments passed and Teach did not move an inch, his shoulders didn’t even rise and fall with his breaths,
“did you want me to keep going?” Richard inquired,
“Boy if yer only problems are splinters, coughing and a sunburn i think yer being in the wrong job.”
“I’ve got a few more if you were interested,” for the first time Teach stood up and walked over to Richard, his giant frame making Richard feel like a child, he place his right arm over Richard shoulder and walked him toward the door.
“boy if ye come to me with another issue, I’ll shoot ya and then ye won’t have any splinters to worry about, now get the FUCK OUT!” he said as he pushed Richard out of the doors Richard almost fell to the ground but he steadied himself, “any one of ye blaggards take issue with splinters?”
“nay Captain!” the crew shouted in unison,
“that’s what I thought! Now Fuck off the lot of ya!”
“Aye Captain!” they once again shouted in unison
“get to work Richard!” Teach shouted at Richard with disgust in his voice.
As Richard walked over to his best friends aboard this pirate ship, mr mop and ms bucket he pondered about making a complaints box, maybe Teach just couldn’t handle criticism very well.

I had a dream where an OHS officer was sent back in time and had to work on a pirate ship.